


This time was different

by callumthighway



Category: Ballum, Ben Mitchell - Fandom, EastEnders (TV), ben and callum, ben x callum - Fandom, callum highway - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-26 23:03:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21108641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumthighway/pseuds/callumthighway
Summary: They were both sober this time, and Callum had finally let go of the guilt he had felt about how he and Ben got together, allowing both men to feel free and for this to just be about them, and them only.





	This time was different

The look Ben gave Callum in the pub conveyed a thousand thoughts and communicated their shared desires for what they were about to do. Ben took Callum’s hand and lead him out of the Vic and on the short walk across the street to Ben’s house, they exchanged quick, tender smiles and Ben squeezed Callum’s hand to convey a message of comfort and excitement. They didn’t need words, they both knew where they were going and what they were finally going to do.

They quietly crept upstairs to Ben’s room, Ben still holding onto Callum’s hand and locked the door behind them.  
Ben took Callum’s other hand in his and they stood, still, hand in hand, just looking at one another, for a minute or so, before Callum leaned down to give Ben a light, but lingering kiss like just before in the pub. “I’m.. I’m nervous,” Callum whispered into Ben’s mouth. Ben smiled softly and looked him in the eyes and reassured him, “we’ll take it as slow as you need, okay? It’s just you and me.”  
You and me. Those three words that meant the world to Callum, immediately put his mind at ease, and he was even more sure of what he already knew, that that this is the person who he is meant to be with, and this, what they were about to do is right, so right, and so he follows Ben’s lead and his own instincts.

Ben leads Callum to the bed, sits Callum down stands between his legs. Their fingers still interlocked, they play shyly with each other’s hands for a little while, before Callum lets go to hold Ben’s waist, with Ben running his fingers through Callum’s hair. Callum starts to undress Ben, noticing his scars, and immediately he is taken back to the shooting; he hadn’t seen the scars yet, so he carefully traces them with his fingers, and then kisses them, before resting his head on Ben’s torso. Ben lifts Callum’s head and pulls him upwards until they’re face to face. Ben kisses Callum, and whispers between kisses, “you saved me”, to which Callum lets out a soft moan, before tracing kisses down Ben’s jawline, to his neck, where he so many times before had nestled himself, a place where he felt the most comfortable and closest to Ben. They take a moment to hold one another before falling into bed wrapped in each other’s arms.

There are small breaths of what could be mistaken for apprehension, but which are actually seized opportunities of savoring each other, taking time to study each other, with a hint of shyness from both men. Ben wasn’t usually shy about this kind of thing, but with Callum it was different, it wasn’t just sex, it was more than that; it was deeper and he hadn’t felt this strongly for someone in a long time, if ever before. The bad boy image, which Callum could see right through, disappeared before Callum’s eyes when they were alone, and this time was no different; Ben’s tender, caring side that he reserved only for Callum, was on full show.

They lock eye contact, neither wanting to look away or let go of the moment. This was really happening, they were finally reconnecting, and this time was on another level. They were both rid of any guilt and were free to be together, fully, and really embrace and cement their feelings for one another.

Afterwards, they lay, bodies still interlocked, in bed, holding each other tightly. Their bodies fit together so perfectly, like they were made for each other. Ben rests his head on Callum’s chest and nestles against his skin, Callum’s heart beating in sync with his own, he smiles whilst gently tracing little circles on Callum’s chest with his fingers. Callum, holding Ben, feels a wave of emotions, all compiling into an overwhelming feeling of complete bliss.

The first time was intense, just like Ben had described it. To Callum, it had almost felt like a fever dream, like a haze of lust and desperation took over him, but this time was different, they took their time. Tonight, Callum had finally let go of his guilt about how he and Ben came to be, so they were able to be together again physically, freely and with nothing holding them back. The first time was almost animalistic, whereas this time was gentle and filled with passion. The intensity was there, the lust was there, but the rush wasn’t, they wanted and were able to really take their time and be in the moment with each other, the moment where nothing and no one else existed. This is what it’s meant to be like, this is what you hear about when people talk about making love, about raw emotion. They had connected both emotionally and physically before, but this time it was simultaneous and so powerful. They weren’t just acting on their instincts, they were acting on their feelings and they connected in a way they hadn’t before. Things between them changed, in the most positive, beautiful way. This was the start of them giving in to any and all inhibitions and embracing their truly special connection.

Callum looks down at the man in his arms, and says tentatively, “thank you… for waiting for me. I know I ain’t made it easy for us-”, “you were worth the wait”, Ben interrupts, looking up at his soulmate. They shared a completely inhibited, loving, lingering look, before Ben kisses Callum’s chest and places his head back where he was so comfortably laying before. Neither of them wanted to leave this bed, ever. They were both home.

**Author's Note:**

> constructive criticism always welcome! let me know what you think! very active on twitter @callumthighway 💖


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